She said her name was "party"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
