so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I am available for nakedness
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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