good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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