C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
