He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
