you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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