My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
