This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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