So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The air was thick with penises
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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