This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize