WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
