its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Alive.
So much puke
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
