I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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