What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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