he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
