I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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