At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
