And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
