He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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