living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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