So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
