After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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