Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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