He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
