The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
