No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
