I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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