Your tits are I can't wait for
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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