I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I got inside last night via doggy door
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize