is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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