My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
