I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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