How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
