Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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