So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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