I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
