the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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