He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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