Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
