I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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