You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
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I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
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