He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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