Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
