Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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