im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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