then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
