Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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