used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
