I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
