Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Congratulations! We have a period
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