Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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