soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
