Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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