your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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