I wish my penis had an off switch
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So squirting runs in the family.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.