I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he fucked my hip out of place.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize