You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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