I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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