Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
